Contractually Obligated #thisiscrazylove2016
There have been a few rules broken in this whole hashtag mutiny against the anti-social behavior on social media called #thisiscrazylove2016.
Rules broken by me. Well, sort of.
On January 1, 2016 my friend Tyler Merritt decided to try something. Something a little crazy. Something that upon conception seemed a totally doable task. Then, once in the task, he realized how difficult it could actually be.
He wrote on his Facebook wall the following: 2016 for me will be the year of "Love and Appreciation". This is a crazy idea (even for me) but I'm going to attempt to for the next 365 days on social media come rain or shine to pick a person to publicly appreciate and/or show love to. Why? Because the Internet. Some may be obvious to show love to and some I may not have even seen in forever. The great thing is I have 365 days to figure it all out. So... Here we go.
He then preceded to share love with a friend of his. Others got involved with the idea, including yours truly, and the result has been a great learning experience.
So, how am I sort of breaking the rules? I’m going to write about my wife… again. As she is the source of most of my love I will most likely write about her several times. But hey, it’s sharing love with a person… just not a different person.
Reason for the love to go to Beck today? Because she deserves it.
For the last year my wife has been my rock more so than normal. She has carried our family income basically on her back. While I have found temporary work and continue to work to make this film making thing a reality she continues to pound out the days and make that money.
But today’s post isn’t about that.
Okay, for all you singles out there, hang with me. I’m gonna talk married stuff for a minute.
Sometimes a spouse has a tough day. But when the stars are aligned and the world is in working order the other partner can swoop in and be the big strong hero to make all okay.It gets reciprocated when roles are reversed and if there is a need to keep score it usually comes out even in the long run.
Then there are those times when the stars are out of whack and the world is tore up from the floor up and both partners are in need of the other to be the big strong. These are times not meant for the faint of heart.
Both have to somehow dig deeper into themselves and try to fake it ’til they make it.
One such time with Beck was when I was rounding the corner to the tail end of my trip to Thailand for the documentary. I'd had a rough day. Antony, the best non-spousal travel companion a guy could ask for, and I walked into our hotel for the evening and I just needed to call my bride. Little did I know she was experiencing a pretty rough day of her own and was glad I called because she needed me. We needed each other. But not in the good way. More in the, "I need you to let me rant for a few minutes and then tell me all will be well... Crap, that's what you need from me? I can't give you that right now" kind of way.
These times suck like a Hoover vacuum. (For you young’ns out there, Hoover used to be the most popular vacuum in the country.)
It is usually detectable in minutes that both parties don’t have what the other needs. The conversation is viewed by both almost in fashion of that dream we’ve all had at some point… The one where everything is moving in normal speed but the dreamer is moving in slow motion.
They both watch as their own words come jetting out of their mouths seeing the words and knowing they aren’t the best to be presented to the conversation at that moment.
It’s an arduous struggle to find the softness in the midst of harsh realities. The fight for selflessness over selfishness wrestle to the ground as one stares at the other… the one they love.
In some sort of strange way I am grateful for these moments after they happen. They remind me of the work needed to keep the love alive. They help me see that the bond between us is stronger than circumstances and scenarios.
I love my wife. I love her more than I ever thought I could love another human being. She makes me better in every way.
And tonight, after a car problem, forgetting to take a check to the bank, problems she had to deal with today, filing taxes and having to pay quite a bit of money and the fact that money is tight I know that she wouldn’t want to be dealing with any of this with anyone other than me.