Weight, there’s more
A month ago, maybe a little longer, I was introduced to a man who would help change the dynamic of our little doc and bring a context that shows how deep the stigma hole goes and how pervasive its grasp is on people needing help.
Our call was on June 17, 2022, lasted 52 minutes and re-wired my thinking in ways I didn’t know it needed. The call was heavy and honest. It was filled with compassion and enthusiasm and challenging perspectives. I got off the phone elated. I got off the phone with an extra wind at my back as we trudge this road to complete this film about the stigma of addiction.
From there it became a possibility to actually interview him in Nashville and the man who introduced us agreed to fly him here from the Northeast and house him as it was understood we are still far from fulfilling our full budget for this doc and the funds are tight.
Really tight.
On July 11, 2022 I saw an instagram post that brings us to where I’ve been the last several weeks. The man responsible for rewiring my thinking over that 52 minute call had passed away. That man’s name is Mark Kinzley and he is often referred to as “The Godfather” of the Harm Reduction Movement.
I was in disbelief and a fog enveloped me that has stayed for weeks. All the time having an attack of imposter syndrome as I’d had less than one hour of conversation with this man.
I was only slightly upset with the notion he’d not be in this film. I was ultimately derailed because if ever there was an individual I looked forward to a life long friendship with it was Mark.
Weight for it…
The one thing I didn’t consider when beginning this project was the weight of loss I would experience. I knew the gravitational pull of losing someone close but I was not prepared for the heaviness that comes with being introduced to so many more who’d gone before or those I’d know who’d go during.
The stark reality of the moment is I’m empty. Not just of funds but of heart. The burden is so great to carry and if I’m being honest, I don’t know how I will continue.
Which brings me to title of this little excerpt, “Weight, there’s more.”
That someone close I mentioned a few sentences previously went by the trail name of “El Chapo” and he completed over 750 miles of the Appalachian Trail before having to come off from an injury. His resolve was to continue it in segments, forfeiting the “thru hiker” title but intent on seeing a task completed at all costs.
You might think you know where I am going with this and you’d be wrong. I ain’t there yet. This cathartic ramble is but a step in the process to attain what should only be described as “Natron” status.
Right now, on August 3, 2022 there are four people on the Appalachian Trail intending to press through the entire trek in memory of Nate Loftis, “El Chapo” (The soul attainer of Natron status) and they are doing so with the help of https://www.onemoredayontheappalachiantrail.com which provides scholarships to selected applicants to get out there and find the missing pieces on the trail.
Do yourself a favor and don’t bypass the gift that is knowing about One More Day on the AT. While you’re there, and if you’re so inclined, join their movement and throw a little scratch their way as they continue the memory of “El Chapo” on the AT!!!
As of August 1st, 2022, in various posts from the 2022 recipients of One More Day it’s been hard. There have been moments of wanting to give up, call it a day and go home. The trail, all 2,190 miles of it, from Maine to Georgia is, shall we say, grueling and it is sometimes all that can be done to put that next foot in front of the last.
Their packs are weighed down on their backs like the burden of this story on mine, I will spend one more night and one more day in a proverbial rest area and then, one click of the mouse or one phone call in front of another, this film will get done. All 2,190 miles of it. It has to but we have to talk about the stigma of addiction.
