Worst person ever #thisiscrazylove2016

We worked in the same building for several years. Cathy worked in the back office of the Barnabas house and we shared a wall. The over the top thumping of heavy bass from her music collection continued to rattle the beautiful trinkets from countries all over the world off their shelves and into the floor where they would break into thousands of small fragments.

 This is the best photo of Cathy I could find. Now that you've seen her nose you can understand that high pitched, nasally voice that pierces through the ear drums. 

This is the best photo of Cathy I could find. Now that you've seen her nose you can understand that high pitched, nasally voice that pierces through the ear drums. 

Each time this happened I would walk back with complete humility and kindly ask her to turn the music down ever so slightly.

Her response? "Why don't I just bring in some other trinkets from all over the world to replace them. I've been to far more places on this earth than you could ever dream so I'm sure I could stand to part with a few extra things sitting around. Oh, and sorry about that rare, one of a kind glass figurine given to you as a token of gratitude from a young orphan girl."

When Cathy wasn't terrorizing me with her music she was constantly coming into my office to get things off her chest. Oh, what a complainer she was. I imagine she still is and THANK GOD I no longer have to deal with her constant interruptions and grumblings.

We travel together to Serbia one year and I gotta say, if you are ever traveling over the ocean to another country and Cathy is going too, do yourself a favor and do not sit by her.

When she's not talking your ear off about the harmful effects of styrofoam on the environment or drooling on your pillow because  she "needed hers behind her back," she would ring the flight attendant to get another glass of Chardonnay... You know, for the nerves. And don't forget all that liquid would cause her to need to get up and use the lavatory. Over and over and over and over again. No doubt the plane had to dump some waste somewhere over the island of Porta Delgada so as to keep altitude.

To make all this pale in comparison let me talk for a moment about her musical "abilities."

Cathy thinks she's a singer. Oh how I wish someone would have to guts to tell her but you know, she's fragile. There's no telling what she'd do or say as a result of hearing the news. So, instead we all suffer through her off pitch notes and her strange conglomeration of jazz meets polka style of piano playing. If the great Bartolomeo Cristofori had known such abuse would come the black and white keys perhaps he would have put his creative talents toward something other than the piano.

Finally, Cathy is a selfish person. She is unwilling to lend even the slightest aid to anyone in need. She never answers her phone. She rarely makes eye contact with anyone unless she needs something and that breath. Oh my, so bad.

All in all I am surprised she is even allowed in civilization but all that said, this #thisiscrazylove2016 is for all people. Even if one of those people is a woman with gambling debts racked up in three states and a stack of parking tickets that could wallpaper the inside of the Parthenon.

 

#aprilfools

 

A true #thisiscrazylove2016 for Cathy is coming this afternoon.